Wednesday Night Fights

Wednesday nights take me outside the home until close to bedtime, it's never good when I get in. I battle Mr. B until bedtime he usually is crying about something, I haven't eaten yet and won't until everyone else is in bed because I'm painfully slow at putting food together. So my night looked something like this. Go watch 6 third and fourth graders for an hour, come home, fight with Mr.B about getting in the tub, getting out of the tub, letting water out of the tub, putting on pajamas, what we are going to play after and if he ever gets dressed. Getting him to go to bed, getting him to stay in bed, getting him to be quiet in bed. Having a brief half fight with wife over boxing on television, eating and going to bed. I hate Wednesdays.

Getting a grip on reality

I missed posting yesterday. I have this thing, I'm recording a CD oooohh! Nothing big, I just do it in my house with my fancy toys, any way I decided about a year ago I was tired of dreaming about what it would be like to make a CD and just started making them. I give them to family and friends, they are nice and tell me it's awesome. I just do guitar covers of songs I like, although I did take a leap of faith and actually sing on one on this one. Anyway to keep the fantasy in my head going I set deadlines, labor over the sounds and what guitars and effects I use, it gets me by without actually being a star. I'm about 3 weeks over due on this one and I still have 2 and a half songs to record. I am starting to realize why it has taken GnR (Guns n Roses for the less rock savvy) 15 years to complete their latest album, this one has been a pain and I'll just be glad to be through with it so I can move on to something else like creating a movie of Mr. B. All of this is not the point of this post though. I want to say Happy Mother's day a day late to all the moms of this world, you keep it turning. My wife loves reality TV, I loathe it for the most part the exception right now being Gene Simmons Family Jewels, this is classic. My wife likes the competition shows, Dancing With The (Semi) Stars, Big Brother (her personal favorite), Survivor. I for one am tired of reality shows, when CBS unveiled their newest "Americas Smartest Pet" I had to draw a line in the sand. Do we really care who has the smartest pet? Have we really become so dumbed down or lulled to sleep that there is a TV exec somewhere getting paid millions of dollars to say "I've got it! Lets do a version of American idol for pets!" I watch reruns of The Office for a TV fix or wrestling, at least it's pretend and we know it from the start. So if there are any TV execs reading this (or anyone for that matter) listen up, I don't care about your next model, dancer, cook, remodeling guru, singer, actor, super hero, inventor, dog, cat or imitator of an actual star! You already steal all of your ideas for real prime time TV from England! Get off your duff, think of something original, if you can't, call me or my brother or any number of my friends and we'll be happy to sell you our ideas but I'm warning you, when you come out with "Americas Most Loved Snell" reality show, I will find someway to get to California, scale your little ivory tower your living in and tear it down! whew! I feel better now.

I have G.A.S.

No not that kind, you silly, G.A.S. is an acronym for Guitar Aquisition Syndrome. If you play guitar you know what I'm talking about, the addiction can be as bad as any drug. My addiction is beyond help, they say you can't help someone until they hit bottom, well I refuse to hit bottom. My days are filled with scheming how to get the next guitar. Let's put it this way, I have a sign that my dad gave me that says "My old lady said she would leave if I bought one more guitar! ...I'm sure gonna miss that girl!" in my home it's almost that bad. You find ways to justify buying them "I don't have one like this", "but this one has an extra knob that provides 5 more sounds!" "This is my church guitar" I have even lied about guitars I have bought! Yes folks it can be serious, at last count I owned, in my house, in my possession, about, are you ready for this? 13 guitars, that's just guitars and doesn't include the ones I have traded or sold after the new wears off. People don't want their kids to be rock stars because of the crap they will collect as a result not because of the pitfalls of fame and fortune I'm almost certain of this. I also have auxiliary instruments, lap steel, banjo, Ukuleles. My wife has given up hope that there will be a cure and just turns the other way when I come home with something new. You see, you also have to have accessories, I have more pedals than I can shake a stick at, enough amplifiers be able to play a large arena with ease, and it never ends. I have a list of things I want, no need! It's silly a boy and his toys, if my son learns to play we may have to have another house just for the instruments... I'm sure gonna miss that girl...

The Family Jewels Rule!

I am into music, big time, like it is almost an obsession with me. I work very hard at keeping up the latest music even though I hate about 95% of it. It's partly what I'm known for, I can tell you every member of Van Halen, past and present. I know who Phish were, I own a couple of albums by The Cure, I have tons of country music. This is something I pursue constantly, to be the first person I know to know who the new hot bands are. The down side to this is that I end up thinking I know more than I really do and then look like an idiot, which leads me to my story. A friend of mine, PJ asked if I watched the Gene Simmons show Family Jewels, I replied with some snobby BS answer about how all he is interested in is making a buck and blah blah blah, I don't even remember most of what I said. So now I'm saying to PJ, I was an idiot, I watched two hours of Gene Simmons tonight, I even missed wrestling because of Gene Simmons, and I loved it. To the point that I wouldn't even turn the channel during commercials because I was scared I would miss something. (I'm convinced that men flipping channels during commercials is some kind of modern exhibition of primitive nomadness, is that a word?) and none of that stuff I said would run through my head ever even entered. I was too busy laughing.
Props also to PJ for designing my new header which looks way more awesome than the standard one I was sporting. So thank you again PJ, this is just PJ day!

Dad Scores a Hole in One

I have a 3 year old, Mr.B, we are very tight as dads and sons go, and even more so than most dads and three year olds I know. We have a friend with a son about Mr. B's age and he told me that his son runs and cries for mom when he gets home from work. Unfortunately my wife gets the opposite treatment, it's almost like he tolerates her until I get home and then she gets no love. Not that he doesn't love his mother and there are times where ONLY mom can take care of the issue. But for the most part he comes to me. I announced today that it was such a nice day it would be cool to go golfing. I golf about as often as the return of Haley's comet, most of my golf comes in the form of hitting Nerf golf balls around my yard and hoping the neighbors dog does not make off with it. My wife made the suggestion, wait for it... that I should take Mr.B with me if I was going...I'll give you a few minutes to let that sink in... OK, Back. So, now the three year old and I are going golfing, right, I see me paying for 18 holes of golf and getting to play about 4. I tell Mr.B that after his nap, me and him MIGHT go golfing. To a three year old and his mother hoping to dump him for three hours, MIGHT means it's been written in stone and will happen. I decided that 27 dollars was ridiculous to pay to only get to play 4 holes of golf. My better half reminds me of a nearby golf course that was about 10 dollars cheaper to play. Better yet, it's a nine hole course that you play through twice, and no hole is over 180 yards long which means this is basically golf for the ADD people. There is little down time, You tee off, you either hit the green or miss it by just a little, you tap on, putt out, and move to the next hole. I actually thought this would be a great place to have what I would call a speed tournament, I just made it up so I don't know what all the rules would be but it would involve completing the course as fast as you can with the lowest score. This could even be done in relays or some kind of crazy scramble or be used as a drinking game, every odd numbered hole you swig a beer before tee off. OK, I'm rambling now. So, Mr. B and I take off for the course at about 3:30, the course has actually raised rates by about 4 dollars that irritated me but my son was excited to get started, it was his first time in a cart. I'm happy to report that all turned out well, he loved it! I would tee off and then when we hit the green he would drop his ball (he has a play set) and would sink the ball. I let him keep score and turns out I had the best day of golf ever, by his scoring formula, I had three holes in 1! I'm certain that is some kind of record. Anyway we were exhausted when we returned home at 7:30 Mom and Now (his grandmother), were able to scrapbook for three and a half uninterrupted hours. Mr.B played his first round of golf, got to drink a bottle of water, two apple juices, and a Gatorade AND pee on hole 6 of the golf course. That alone made it worth going to him, (peeing outside is a very important thing to young boys, and honestly, who am I kidding? Men like to do it just as much). Any way I got the night off, absence really makes the heart grow fonder, Mom had to bathe and dress Mr.B and got the added bonus of reading first and no one was able to sub in for her. She got the attention she wanted, I got to play golf and spend the afternoon with my son. It doesn't get any better than that...well only there had been a Motley Crue, Poison, Guns N Roses concert after the golf it might have been better.

Almost Died!

Well not really, that is my favorite saying from The Crocodile Hunter though so I thought I would use it. Friday morning at work was quite exciting, we had a tornado warming and had to hide in the stairwell, it just so happens that I recieved a new digital video camera for my birthday so I put it to good use. I'm hoping to have something edited together. Some of the Co-Workers were acting like they Junior high kids let out for recess. Very loud, I think PJ would agree. Anyway the tornado actually struck further down the road although several people were not as lucnky as we were. There were severe storms in about 4 states and some homes and businesses were in shambles. Please remember these folks, I know I will.

Night Time Is The Right Time

I think I mentioned in my first post that I tend to be a home body. A better description would that I would be a hermit if possible. Except I do need interaction with others to a certain degree. It's been an unwritten rule in my house that after 10 p.m. it's my "alone time" as my wife refers to it. The rule works something like this, I will help bathe and put Mr. B to bed. I will stick around and watch tv and be a good husband and talk. In return my wife lays down on the couch at 9 p.m. sharp, I take control of the remote and watch whatever thing it is I want to watch. Usually wrestling or whatever documentary, how it's made, or gangser documentary happens to be on. Tonight, it was flipping between Low Life, a 30 minute episode into the world of Low Riding cars and Miami Ink, a show about people getting tattoos. Exciting stuff for any woman. The point is the showing has to be boring enough to put my wife to sleep. At 10 o'clock, asleep or not, I exit to the back room where I watch really interesting things like who killed the electric car, record music, or watch Youtube or some combonation of at least two of these. My wife asks no questions unless something we have discarded but won't fit in the trash comes up missing. I usually tell her that I can't give out that information as she would become an accessory to whatever I happened to do with it and Mr. B would have to live with family while we pay my debt to society. This is my alone time, it allows me to unwind and do what I want to do and I stay in favor with the family. I think I will bring this up and try to get it passed as an amendment at the next "What the heck do our wives want from us?!" meeting. I'm sure this has never donned on a lot of men. The down side is, work starts early and I usually stay up late, so the morning starts with a round of "if you don't get out of this bed, I will put my feet in your back and kick you out!" but by 5 o'clock that eveing the morning is forgotten. So I live for 10, see you tomorrow night.