Remember me?

I'm still and I still write, not as often as I should, work is crazy, I have become the trainer of new techs, I hate this job with a passion. It comes with the territory of my job I suppose but that doesn't mean I like it. On a positive note, all of the new trainees have made my job relatively easy. Picking up these programs like they have been doing this forever. Not that they have all of the answers, but their innate ability to pick it up makes me think the program is user friendly after all. On another note, along with the storms we have called Hurricane comes family. My mom was already here visiting for a couple of weeks but decided to stay an extra week when Gustav thought he might come her way. My sister and her family were evacuated and came here. This was not their first evacuation to my house, the first was about 3 years ago and it stretched the limits of family bonds. I love my family dearly, I really do, just not in my house for a week. Along with my sister came her husband, two grown sons, 6 dogs, and a freezer of meat. My sister is a little uhm... odd. I convinced my son to call her Aunty, which was my name for my crazy aunt whom I loved dearly, she let me do things like, drive her car when I was 8. My sister did not catch this reference for some reason until I pointed it out to her at Christmas, but still wears the name like a badge of honor. My son loves her, she will play with him when she's here but more importantly she sends him stuff. His favorite stuffed animal came from Aunty, and half the toys in our house came from Aunty, the other came from my mom. Back to the storm, the last storm 3 years ago was taxing, my nephews and brother in law all are about the size of a mack truck and therefore hard on the furniture, I dispose of my last chair after they left. For some reason they felt a need to sleep in it, a week of 300+ pounds 24/7 was more than my dear chair could take it died right after they left. My mother laid the rules down this time as the patriarch of the family. Absolutely no sleeping on the furniture and no dogs in the house. My family begrudgingly obeyed and we all played nice for a few days, but my sister brought every piece of food she owned and it simply would not all fit in my freezer, determined not to lose this food, we my sister spent all day Sunday cooking whatever would not fit in the freezer. This included 4 steaks, about 2 pounds of sausage, a box of hamburger patties, a package of chicken legs and thighs and 15 yes 15 pounds of ground round. She flew around the kitchen like a doctor in a major surgery constantly murmuring to herself "I will NOT let this meat spoil!". She reminded me of the witch from Hansel and Gretel. I kept waiting for her to throw a kid in the oven. On the other hand, Gustav produced a new song, I meant as a joke for work but decided to test it on my nephews who found it hilarious. They then proceeded to play it for the rest of my family, my mom got a copy of it and emailed it to all of Texas and half of Arizona, this song was so successful that I had several people tell me to send it to radio stations, Doctor Demento and/or Stern and Adam Corolla, I finally decided to post it on myspace so that everyone could hear it. It's been a crazy week. I promise to be back earlier than a month from now.

And the kitchen sink too...

Here's a little bit of everything that's been going on for the last week. I get to work this Saturday, to say I'm excited is an overstatement. I actually talked my way out of weekends sometime ago unless it was an emergency, well guess what? New building, nothing has been moved, we'll show up Saturday to work and magically everything will be there and in place and working...yeah I'm nervous too. I know what our company is capable of and trust me, getting right the first time ain't it. My son has been doing a hot pocket routine that has me rolling every time, it's the way he says "Hoooooot pocket" that gets me. I really should be paying bills right now. I mowed the backyard today, this wasn't as easy as it sounds. We were pretty much in Texas as usual drought mode and the yard died, I'll have to admit I wasn't heartbroken. But then, it started raining, and raining, and raining some more not only did all the grass come back to life, it grew approximately 5 feet tall in 12 hours. I tried to mow it today, well at least part of it, with a push mower, the grass was still wet and the mower would stall about every 15 steps because of all the grass trapped underneath, I might as well have been using scissors, it may have been faster that way. A new guy at work got me Decline of the Western Civilization Punk Rock and my all time favorite documentary, Decline of the Western Civilization the Metal Years on DVD! Well ok, he did get them from some vague secretive website but beggars can't be choosers. I keep forgetting I have to work Saturday and when I remember, I cuss to myself. Good Night.

Jackpot!

I have to say that today did not start out to be a good day. I get to work and heat up my breakfast strudel, you know the kind that you spread icing on the top? Riiiiight, I thought it would be a good idea to heat my icing for about 10 seconds, well at 8 seconds the icing decided it was better to splatter than to be spread and it exploded all over the inside of the microwave. Things got better though, I was notified around 10:30 that I had won the drawing for an Ipod because I referred someone to apply for a job with our company. Cut to this afternoon, I may have mentioned this before but I'm really good at ping pong and it just so happens our company has a ping pong table, I was playing a game with Aaron, a co-worker, we have specials rules for our games, it's done in order to give Aaron an even edge in beating me. We refer to it as the "play at the servers pace" rule. This simply means that when I serve, I serve to the same place every time, unless I'm desperate for a point then we throw this rule out. Aaron has the right to serve anywhere on the table that he wants and anytime he wants. Meaning, if I leave the table to get a stray ball, Aaron can serve and if I can't return the volley, he wins the point. This usually results in high scores and keeps games tight. Today was no exception, I was actually down 19 - 18 when I left the table to retrieve a ball. Aaron had another ball I didn't know about but I turned around just in time to see him starting his serve. In my rush to get back to the table, I became entangled in a lunch room chair, then that chair decided to bring it's friend, so I am running like mad to get back to the table to return the serve with two chairs attached to me, the worst part was that I tripped just about the time I got to the table, to steady myself, I decided to fall on the table, at that point the table crashed to the floor in what appeared to be a broken heap. Once the laughing stopped and we convince HR that no one was in injured in the fall of a 20 year old ping pong table, the game resumed. Just in case you're wondering, I came back and won. THEN, HR had a contest in which they quiz you over the handbook,if you respond with the correct answers at the correct time, you win a ten cent prize, since the beginning of the year, I have won a couple of these and racked up my third one today! What's the point of this story? just because your icing asplodes in the microwave doesn't mean the strudel won't still be good.

It will never be the same...

I work in a technical support department, you know, the place you call when your new fancy program doesn't work, so you call and get someone who doesn't have a clue what you're talking about. They take 5 minutes of your precious time to get info like name, address and contact information only to tell you that you have called the wrong place, this is not their problem. I am the guy they go to when they put you on hold. Well, I was that guy, we've been constantly shorthanded since about Feburary, I got a cryptic email a couple of weeks ago that the boss wanted to meet the next day. I had a feeling what was coming and I was right, while we're shorthanded, I need to be answering calls too, you know to make the stats look better. I don't mind answering calls, I also have no problem in saying that in that department, I am the best at the program we support. The problem is that others are relying on me to answer their questions too, a little hard to do when I'm answering the phone. Needless to say folks are hitting their breaking points, on top of that I get reports from techs who say the other person that sort of does my job, really does nothing, no one likes this person and dreads having to ask them a question because they usually can't answer it anyway. On top of that, this person is also taking calls, only I'm hearing that they hang up on these calls, after myself and the big man leave, they sit idlly by while customers wait in long lines to get help and they leave early. I'm trying to find a good way to bust this person while protecting the innocent and it's really not that easy to do, and even if I do find a way will by boss do anything about it? Probably not, he prefers not to rock the boat on these things. Which then makes me look like a loser because peoples pleas for help are falling on deaf ears. On the bright side, tomorrow is Friday and I won't have to think about it for the weekend. I'm also hoping to have another movie list up tomorrow or the next day. Talk later.

The Balloon Monster.

I had not planned to post today, mainly because I did it last night but I need to get this in before I forget. My child is three, I tend to think that he is smarter than your average three year old. I don't know why I think that but I'm pretty sure if parents were polled, they would all think their child is above average in intelligence for their age. That's not wrong, I'm just saying... I have also discovered that kids, all ages love to be able to put the hurt to their parents. My child did this for the first time tonight and now I know what I have to look forward to for the 17 years. Anyway, my son went to a birthday party for a friend of his, he had a great time from what I am told and he returned home with a nice, shiny, big, green, balloon. He asked me to come to play with him and his balloon in his room, there was no way I was turning that down, I love balloons. All is going well, we are tapping the balloon back and forth and having a great time. When all of a sudden, I was returning the balloon to him and the tap was a little hard, this cause the balloon to take an upward turn and collide with the ceiling, this wouldn't be bad except the ceiling texture is very thick, very lumpy, and in some places, a little sharp. Not sharp enough to hurt a person but sharp enough to say, pop a balloon. It just so happened that the balloon hit one of these places. It exploded into 5 pieces and tumbled to the ground like a mosquito that has been knocked out of the sky. The look on my son's face was one of shock, like he had just seen a murder take place first hand. Before I could say anything, he turned to me and said "You popped my balloon". The wailing and gnashing of teeth began at this point and nothing I could say would console him. He pulled out of my arms to go search for his mother and let her know that daddy had popped his balloon. Mom had heard the commotion when it started and immediately went into action to save me. She found another balloon that she had hid in a cabinet in the kitchen. This was a nice attempt but Mr. B was quick to point out that his new balloon was not nearly as big as the one that I had popped. Finally we came to an agreement, when I came home Monday from work I would have a whole bag of big balloons. Now, here is the really funny part, Mr. B has recovered enough that he will once again play with me, he has a Word Launch video game that teaches kids to spell. He asked me to come play it with him, followed by this statement "maybe you won't pop it". Yes, he is three, I was proud because my child was so quick witted that he came up with this on his own, at the same time I had just been cut down by a three year old. He later referenced the balloon episode again when after his bath, he asked his mother to dress him for bed instead of me because I popped his balloon. If he comes up with this stuff when he is three I'm am terrified of what it will be like when he is sixteen. Besides the post of a fellow blogger, this has been my biggest laugh of the week.

Movie Blog

This has been a week from hades, my job requires me to train all new employees in our department, this wouldn't be so bad if while training I wasn't required to also answer questions, consult with techs, act as a go between with other departments, do my boss's job, come home and build train sets, take out trash, pay bills and other various chores. Tonight my feelings got the best of me and when I tried to explain that I would like 5 minutes to do something for me, it was taken as me being selfish and wanting everyone to go to bed. It's been a Monday all week long and it is causing me to hate my job and resent co-workers, not to mention unwanted stress at home. Whew! glad I got that off my chest, on to tonight's movies!

Tonight's topic, top 5 John Hughes movies!
For those of you who don't know, John Hughes is a writer, director, producer of movies. His best period was the 80's, all ten years. His movies played as big a role shaping a generation as anything else. His best movies were aimed at the teen crowd which was right up my alley at the time. The theme was usually something to do with teen doesn't really fit in but desperately wants to and by the end of the movie they do. You either saw yourself, someone you knew or wanted to be someone in all of his movies. I cannot underscore the impact his movies had on my generation. Most of his films took place in the fictional Chicago suburb of Shermer Illinois. This guy was such an impact that he practically inspired Kevin Smith (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back etc.) to be a director. In fact in the movie mentioned above, Jay and Silent Bob are trying to get to Shermer because "All of the girls there are hot". In the 90's he kind of flamed out making such forgettable movies as Baby's Day Out. Now, onto the list!

Honorable Mentions.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles
This movie starred John Candy and Steve Martin as two guys trying to get home from a business trip during the holidays, their paths keep crossing even though Martin's character can't stand Candy's character, it is funny from start to finish and barely missed the top five.
Favorite Scene - Steve Martin telling the rental car clerk that his car was not in it's spot. Very funny.

Some Kind Of Wonderful - Eric Stoltz, Lea Thomson and Mary Stuart Masterson
This is the typical Hughes movie, Artsy guy from wrong side of the tracks has a crush on Hot, Ultra Popular girl in school, while ignoring that his best friend who happens to be a girl has the hots for him. You're pulling for him to wake up and see that he doesn't really want the shallow hot girl. Does he? Rent it and find out.

Best line in the movie - Stoltz: "You can't judge a book by it's cover"
Masterson:"No, but you can tell how much it's going to cost."

Sixteen Candles - Molly Ringwald
Ringwald was a staple of John Hughes movies, she became part of the "Brat Pack" which was a group of young actors that appeared in most of Hughes movies. In this particular movie, it is her 16th birthday and her parents have forgotten due to the fact that her older sister is marrying a "Big greasy bohunk". She also has a crush on the most popular boy in school who doesn't know who she is AND is having to deal with a freshman geek who has a crush on her. Really I can't say more without giving this away. This was too chick flicky to make the top 5.

Favorite scene - Any of them that involve the foreign exchange student, he stole this movie

5. Weird Science - This was the first movie I ever recorded to VHS, I then watched it so many times that the tape wore out.
Two nerds create a hot girl on a souped up computer, she then does her best to turn them into popular cool kids by putting them in a series of situations designed to increase their confidence. I wanted this movie to happen to me so bad in real life it wasn't even funny. The hot girl is Kelly LeBrock who became famous for the makeup commercial in which she says the line "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful" This one line instantly enraged every 15 - 25 year old female on the planet causing them to scream obscenities at the TV. To this day when this line is played on shows like I Love The 80's, my wife immediately launches her "She was not good looking" campaign. Every guy that remembers that commercial and this movie will tell you every female was wrong. I still have a crush on her.
Favorite Scene - When the two nerds are drunk in a bar...classic.

4. Uncle Buck - John Candy

Candy plays the black sheep uncle who makes his living by betting on, well anything. He has a girlfriend he has been stringing along for years. Finally he is called to babysit the nieces and nephews while their mom and dad are out of town. It results in life lessons for both him and the kids. I wanted to pattern myself after him so that my nephews thought I was cool, but it's kind of hard to be a loser and be cool at the same time.

Favorite scene - When Buck has a parent teacher conference with his niece's elementary school teacher. Again, I wanted this to happen in real life.

3. Pretty in Pink - Molly Ringwald
Ringwald is a girl from the wrong side of the tracks, her dad gave up on life when her mom left him, and she has a knack for creating her own fashion designs. She falls for rich boy from the right side of the tracks and then both of their friends give them flack about dating each other. Ringwalds friend Duckie (Jon Cryer) became a hero of mine and I did my best to dress and act like him for a while, right down to the bolo tie. If those pictures get out I'm ruined...
This movie had a great sound track as did all of Hughes movies.

Favorite line - "Blaine?! That's not a name, it's a major appliance!"

2. Ferris Buellers Day Off - Matthew Broderick
Ferris is a hero to all kids in his school, he can cross all of the imaginary boundaries that kids put between each other, as the secretary says "they all think he's a righteous dude." Ferris decides to take the day off from school to treat his repressed best friend Cameron and Ferris's girlfriend to a day out in Chicago. Meanwhile the rumor has been circulating that Ferris is dying of some horrible unknown disease, the principle and Ferris's sister aren't buying the story and go about on separate paths to bust Ferris. Again, every kid wanted to be Ferris and have a day like this.
You also saw a lot of yourself or your friends in the other cast members, no one ever thought they were Ferris.

1. The Breakfast Club - a cast of many
This was an ensemble cast film, every member of the high school cliques are represented, the jocks, the princess, the nerds, the bad kids and the kids that didn't matter. A group of 5 kids get to spend a Saturday in detention. Over the course of 8 hours they learn that they are not that much different from each other, they all have fears and dreams and if it wasn't for their respective cliques, they maybe could be friends and do become friends for that day. The question is will they still be friends Monday when school life resumes... I very much wanted to be Judd Nelsons character Bender, the bad kid who hung out with other bad kids. In reality I was Brian, a nerd. This movie best represents things that Hughes did that made his movies so original, things like the kids in the didn't use the slang words that were common at the time but used words that became part of every kids vocabulary. Judd Nelson was almost fired from the film for getting a little too into his part and taking on the persona of Bender all of the time. Also look for things like the Most Likely to succeed photos and the license plate of Brian's parents car. Also, Brian's mother was the real life mother of Anthony Michael Hall who played Brian. This movie is considered the ultimate in the Teen Movie Genre and I don't have enough good things to say about it.

Favorite line - "Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?"

So there you have it, I guess I could have titled this top 5 Teen movies but Hughes title seemed to fit a little better to me. Have a good weekend.

How I Met Your Mother

Today is my 15th wedding anniversary, to think that I could find anyone who would actually put with me that long is kind of mind boggling. I tend to be wierd, selfish, and sometimes down right difficult to live with. Just to give you the story if you're interested. The year was 1991, I had transferred to a new school where I knew no one. I had a friend that attended there a year before me but he was kicked out due to an accident in which he and some friends vandalized a building on campus. Really he wasn't that bad of a guy I swear and as far as I know he never ended up in jail. It's just the people I used to hang with had a strange idea of what was fun to do. Any way, when he found out I was transferring he called up his friends and they were on the look out for me. These were essentially my friends for the next two years although I added a few to the mix and moved in large circle that had different smaller circles inside of it. Confused? good. My first two weeks were pretty lonely I had yet to hook up with my friends friends, we just hadn't ran into each other so to speak. Any way my wife, doing something very out of the ordinary for her, came over to the dorm I was in to meet a guy who had randomly dialed her and her roommates room number (if you were dialing a room on campus you only had to dial the four digit room number like calling from one hotel room to another in the same building accept it worked all over campus. This little liner note went a lot longer than I thought it would...). I happened to know the guy and passed through the lobby as they were getting ready to go to Taco Bell. They asked me to go with them, so I said ok, it just happened that my future significant other drove a 1977 Buick (I grew to love that car, it's story all it's own.) that would easily hold all of east Texas. The first Iraqi war had just started so I questioned her as to when this boat was to set sail for Iraq. To this day she loves to tell this story. This was not a love at first sight type of thing, more like she hated me and I barely recognized her. Skip to mid-February of the same year. I had invited three friends to come home with me for the weekend, this somehow grew into a caravan of 3 car loads of 20 - 21 year old college students. My wife's roommate had married a couple of months before and moved out, her other best friend didn't like to do much of anything. So one of the girls that was going home with me asked if I knew L.A. and I told her I vaguely recalled our run south of the border. This friend said that L.A. didn't have many friends and was kind of lonely and wondered if it would be OK if she tagged along. At this point my group of three had turned into a group of 8 or more, so the more the merrier. We became friends after bonding that weekend (still one of the best weekends of my life) and she became a regular in my smaller circle of friends although I still didn't hear wedding bells or me even asking "would you like to go out?". Cut to the next year of school, L.A. was a senior, I was failing miserably at just attending school, but there was a tradition of Sadie Hawkins, since I had as many girlfriends as guy friends we decided it would be cool to do the Sadie Hawkins thing as a group of paired up friends. I paired up with L.A. I thought she was fun and a little different and pretty easy on the eyes too. So I asked her out again, we dated off and on over that year until she graduated, I was going home and not returning and so we were at a cross road. I thought it would just kind of drift away until luck would have it that her first job was about 40 miles away from my hometown, great! We kept dating and eventually it became evident to me that I really didn't want to hang out with anyone else. So we got hitched, although we like to tell people that we aren't really married we just live together, this is always quite fun for us to see their reaction. That's my story of how I met my wife, I'm leaving out drama and some other things just because it would take too long. Anyway, happy anniversary Baby!