Sunday, May 4, 2008

Dad Scores a Hole in One

I have a 3 year old, Mr.B, we are very tight as dads and sons go, and even more so than most dads and three year olds I know. We have a friend with a son about Mr. B's age and he told me that his son runs and cries for mom when he gets home from work. Unfortunately my wife gets the opposite treatment, it's almost like he tolerates her until I get home and then she gets no love. Not that he doesn't love his mother and there are times where ONLY mom can take care of the issue. But for the most part he comes to me. I announced today that it was such a nice day it would be cool to go golfing. I golf about as often as the return of Haley's comet, most of my golf comes in the form of hitting Nerf golf balls around my yard and hoping the neighbors dog does not make off with it. My wife made the suggestion, wait for it... that I should take Mr.B with me if I was going...I'll give you a few minutes to let that sink in... OK, Back. So, now the three year old and I are going golfing, right, I see me paying for 18 holes of golf and getting to play about 4. I tell Mr.B that after his nap, me and him MIGHT go golfing. To a three year old and his mother hoping to dump him for three hours, MIGHT means it's been written in stone and will happen. I decided that 27 dollars was ridiculous to pay to only get to play 4 holes of golf. My better half reminds me of a nearby golf course that was about 10 dollars cheaper to play. Better yet, it's a nine hole course that you play through twice, and no hole is over 180 yards long which means this is basically golf for the ADD people. There is little down time, You tee off, you either hit the green or miss it by just a little, you tap on, putt out, and move to the next hole. I actually thought this would be a great place to have what I would call a speed tournament, I just made it up so I don't know what all the rules would be but it would involve completing the course as fast as you can with the lowest score. This could even be done in relays or some kind of crazy scramble or be used as a drinking game, every odd numbered hole you swig a beer before tee off. OK, I'm rambling now. So, Mr. B and I take off for the course at about 3:30, the course has actually raised rates by about 4 dollars that irritated me but my son was excited to get started, it was his first time in a cart. I'm happy to report that all turned out well, he loved it! I would tee off and then when we hit the green he would drop his ball (he has a play set) and would sink the ball. I let him keep score and turns out I had the best day of golf ever, by his scoring formula, I had three holes in 1! I'm certain that is some kind of record. Anyway we were exhausted when we returned home at 7:30 Mom and Now (his grandmother), were able to scrapbook for three and a half uninterrupted hours. Mr.B played his first round of golf, got to drink a bottle of water, two apple juices, and a Gatorade AND pee on hole 6 of the golf course. That alone made it worth going to him, (peeing outside is a very important thing to young boys, and honestly, who am I kidding? Men like to do it just as much). Any way I got the night off, absence really makes the heart grow fonder, Mom had to bathe and dress Mr.B and got the added bonus of reading first and no one was able to sub in for her. She got the attention she wanted, I got to play golf and spend the afternoon with my son. It doesn't get any better than that...well only there had been a Motley Crue, Poison, Guns N Roses concert after the golf it might have been better.

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